Words so good your bank account will need a cigarette after
GET SOME WORDS
I write and consult for publications, brands and people with something to say. Sometimes the words need to sell something. Sometimes they need to make us reconsider what we’ve been sold.
messaging ↓
cultural commentary ↓
read selected work →
GET SOME WORDS
Features, essays, copywriting + messaging strategy
Please read warning on label: I’ll make your soon-to-be readers + customers regret not finding you sooner.
SO JUST DON'T COME AFTER ME WHEN YOU'RE BEING TRAMPLED BY PLEADING VAGABONDS IN THE STREET SCREAMING, “TAKE MY MONEY!” and “TELL ME MORE!” OK?
You might have a business that sounds infinitely more interesting over dinner than it does on its own website. Or a publication looking for someone willing to follow an idea past the point where everybody else agreed what to think.
Either way, if that sounds like you, we should probably talk.
What you can hire me for
Messaging strategy + brand voice
"Innovative” “Passionate” “Customer-focused”
I’m sure you are. So is, quite literally, everyone else.
I’ve wrestled and cajoled and howled at the moon to write ads and messaging for every business you could possibly imagine. I’ve sold luxury dog biscuits and $500 hairbrushes, written quotes that have gained millions of views. I’ve sat at the big boys’ table and pondered what to do with a $20 million ad budget, and I’ve walked alongside clients from zero dollars in revenue into the kinda money you can point back to your ancestors, shake your fist at the sky and tell them everything worked out ok. The only thing I suggest, before you even tell me a word, is that we get underneath the approved adjectives and find what makes your ideas worth paying attention to. I will help you turn that thinking into a distinct marketing language bank your team can actually use. Something stupidly more useful than another instruction to “be authentic”.
Learn to speak about your work in a way that makes your best-fit clients think you read their mind
Get paid for your thinking, not just your time, by mastering the emotional and strategic precision behind magnetic messaging
Craft marketing that feels like a love letter to your people, so sales calls feel like formality
Stop second-guessing every word and finally say what you actually mean in your content and offers
Build offers that are so well-articulated they practically sell themselves
Investment starts at: $4,999
Payment plans available
pete's agency clients hit record sales
"I've been hiring copywriters for over 10 years. Now I won't work with anyone else.
The results when you work with Lois are literally night and day.She'st the real deal."
kelley found her voice
"I grew over 60,000 followers and had my biggest sales month to date."
Lois really sought to understand me so we could bring that into my copy. She is such a warm, loving person to be around and I deeply appreciate that about her. While working together I defined my voice, my impact, my message, grew over 60,000 followers to hit above 90k and had my biggest program launch to date.
Copywriting + commercial storytelling
Your website is… fine. Your campaign sounds professional. The landing page copy contains all the necessary information. But “fine” is AN OUTRAGEOUSLY expensive standard when you’ve put this much into the work. I write websites, ads, sales pages, and longer brand stories that crackle with life and heat and purpose. We get intentional about what you’re putting into the world and make an obnoxiously good case for it. You bring the knowledge of your business. I bring the questions, the strategy and the exquisite pleasure of finding exactly the right fucking words.
Investment starts at $3,999
for sales pages + offer ad copy
Starts at $8,999
for full website copywriting + strategy
Payment plans available
"Lois is the best writer I've ever worked with. Simple. I've never met anyone who can turn websites into money-making machines just with words like Lois can. She blows our clients minds every time."
— James
eCommerce Agency Founder
Features + stories to satiate any audience
a note for the editor:
I write features, essays and cultural commentary about creativity, commerce and the business of being inconveniently human. I’m currently most interested in what happens when the things we do to make a living begin deciding how we live. Personal branding has rather a lot to answer for in this *waves arms up and down* godforsaken mess. I write the kind of words that leave your readers with full bellies, spinning heads and beating hearts.
A few questions I keep coming back to:
When does a personal brand become a very public cage? The relationship between visibility, privacy and the pressure to remain recognisable, even to a version of yourself you’ve outgrown.
What is marketing teaching us to want? The culture inside our commercial language, the world our businesses have created and the assumptions an advert can make feel perfectly ordinary.
How much creative work disappears before anyone gets to disagree with it? Self-censorship, social permission and the ideas we learn to abandon before they become public.
What makes a voice worth listening to when competent words are everywhere? AI, original, critical thinking and the increasingly important question of what a writer and artist actually brings to the page, and our culture.
Can you make a living from your creativity and still have a life that feeds it? Creative ambition, de-centring work and the difficulty of having an experience without immediately wondering where to post it.
Have a commission in mind?
Send me the publication, the idea, the format and the deadline. I’m happy to discuss an angle.
"You're just so phenomenally good at what you do, and the impact it's having on me and my income and my life is simply so real. I'm immensely grateful. IMMENSELY."
— anon
Creative Service Provider
Voice, story + creative leadership consulting for brands + teams
The world is changing. Our idea of leadership needs to catch up. We need people who can imagine beyond the way things have always been done, solve unfamiliar problems and invite others into the thinking with a voice and story that moves people to action. Compassion belongs at the centre of that work: every new direction we will face over the next decade and beyond asks something of the people expected to take it.
Through consulting, training, workshops and speaking, I help leaders and teams develop their creative thinking, narrative and voice, question inherited assumptions and find the language to turn a new idea into something people can understand, contribute to and act on.
"Lois gave us language we were proud to publish, and the thinking to stand behind it.
She understood what was worth protecting in our voice and where habit had begun to pass for intention. That distinction alone changed the conversation.Our team could make creative decisions without referring every sentence back to me. I could present the work to leadership knowing exactly why it was right for us. The whole thing made me look really good at my job. I’m almost reluctant to tell you how much of that was her”
— ex-CMO
Aesop
How I work
I only work with one project client at a time, which means you always get my full, undivided attention. My creative brain needs one focus and one focus only. My intensives are about 14 business days long, once I actually start writing. Every project is unique, but it mostly looks a little something like this:
depth & dissappear
We get into the brief, the audience and what the words need to do. I ask alarmingly specific questions that you are both alarmed and impressed by, in the most dramatic fashion. Then I disappear into the writing, equipped with my laptop and your hopes and dreams.
the big reveal
Within 14 days (for most projects), the curtain rises. There I am, holding your dreams in words. IN MY BARE, INK-STAINED HANDS. We walk through the draft *COUGH* sorry, masterpiece, and work out what needs refining.
The polish
You gather whoever needs to weigh in: your editor, your team, your dog, Sandra from accounts. I work through the feedback, if there is any (provided it actually makes sense for your goals), and give the words their final polish. The dog’s notes are advisory.
immediate best friends
Entirely optional, but ideally you’re so delighted you ugly cry, refer me to everyone you know and name all your children after me. Yes, all of them. Lois 1. Lois 2. We’ll figure it out.